First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Let's get the cat blown out
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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