My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
