We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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