I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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