i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
