i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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