Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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