i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
