yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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