chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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