What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
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