At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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