used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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