Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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