I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
and i looked up. we had an audience...
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
