i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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