There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Randomize
