If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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