He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
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explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
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Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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