Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
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