Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
