Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
