oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
