I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
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i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
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Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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