I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
