I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
