we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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