i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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