glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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