I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
