we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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