I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
no you cant smoke seaweed
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
