Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I've blown a few things in my day
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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