remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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