what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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