Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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