my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
