when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
