I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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