listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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