Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
