can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
This is classic penis vs brain.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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