He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
