yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
