Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
