I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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