you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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