i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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