I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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