your parents love me but you hate me
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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