He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
