I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Dignity is for republicans.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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