I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
