Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
