what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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