i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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