Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
