Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
