I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
