no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
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I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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