someone get that fucking seahorse.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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