Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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