its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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