she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
