Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
